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This amazing 2006 Census!


"So, who will bell the cat? This latest census, one can say, was the best digitally conducted ever. People and Housing census! Let us then, Let us then, as Warner Wolf, US TV Sportcaster would say, let us go to the video tape!! If it is that good, it should be verifiable, and if it is verifiable with current results standing, what we at the NigerianNews will say to our brothers up North is; congratulations. After all, all this ballyhoo would not matter if we all sincerely behave as if we are brothers and one nation. Truthfully, we are not."


 



This amazing 2006 Census!

NigerianNews Editorial


 

We have always told whoever has ears to hear that our Northern compatriots are always all ears! While we gang together helping them to uphold what we think is the right thing to do on the "Third term" and the Obasanjo/Atiku imbroglio, our Northern compatriots are busy addressing the possible repercussion of the 2006 census! Why not, the tactics has worked since Lugard's amalgamation of Southern and Northern Nigeria; it worked during the much to do about nothing "Third Term". The North knew during the so-called "Third term" there was no way in hell this "Third term" would pass, of course, they are better thinkers, so they crave the diversion.

They knew that with 19 States, and 3 multiplied by 19 equaling 57, even if Ghana-must-go get to some of them, they would garner together 37 senate members from the North of the Niger/Benue divide to stop the "Third term". Since power means alot to some in the North, we had predicted to those who would want to hear that even without Southern help, "Third term" would not pass. But we were all co-opted to this enterprise in a diversion, and we all thought we were fighting this big loser called Obasanjo.

The North understands the South very well. They know for example that some Igbos and some Yorubas acting on different tunes would unite against certain "Yoruba Enterprise". The Igbos in this endeavor are those who still believe they lost Biafra because of Awolowo and some Yorubas. The Yorubas who are passengers in this coalition believe Obasanjo is irredeemably evil and must be discarded as unsalvageable. All these would be okay if these people are not always out to lunch while the ultimate politicians up North are busy perfecting the outcome of the national Chess match.

The "Third Term" was one of many issues in the Senate "Third term" debate, however, while both sides of the divides from the South were busy doing themselves in, the South East lost its only chance to have an additional State. Obasanjo "dey kampe" now, and he can laugh all the way to his farm in Otta on the joke and the tale of Kano and Jigawa census hocus-pocus!! Our South Eastern brothers can now see why an additional State could have got them more census figures as it did in Kano and Jigawa. If you do not believe us, go and check up the figure again and compare it with the 1991 census. The Yoruba collaborators in the imaginary "Third term" affair are like One-Eyed Cyclopes with their primordial reasoning, which Awolowo tried but failed in emancipating, remaining dormant like an extinct volcano.

The stone that the builders rejected, the same is made the head of the corner, and this stone, Awo is gone forever, but his spirit matches on. Obasanjo has no friend left, and our brothers from the North are much interested in "what is mine is mine, and what is for us all is technically also mine" since, as one said, the North is the senior partner.

We would not be surprised if very soon, the pointy headed pseudo intellectuals from the South start apportioning blames in the wrong direction. We at the NigerianNews believe this  census seems doctored, and also badly so. We must now find the right searchlight to vet the veracity of our assertion, and we must not start the search in the wrong direction. We need to stop being pawns in somebody else chessboard once and for all.

Before the release of the figures, the rumor was all over the places that finally, the result of this one will be the right result, and some people from the North even at least pretended to start believing it, as one person in the Daily Trust suggested land mass rather than population ought to be used henceforth for wealth distribution. He went on to say people move back and forth, but the land mass remains the same.

This brings us back to the Igbos again. They had also claimed that since they are found in all nooks and corners of Nigeria, they must be the largest ethnic group in Nigeria. Surely, our brothers to the North probably laugh at this, after all,  their policy makers don't talk that much. They probably now laugh in hindsight saying yes, you are everywhere except your own place, and certainly, no one else go to your place, if this latest census is to be believed!

The last thing Obasanjo wants right now is to raise any hot air on this census. He knows he has neither support at home and anywhere else in Nigeria. The rest of us have already lined up with Atiku, and the last nail to his coffin will be to play Awo at this point. He needs all his energy to disentangle himself from the snares of Atiku and his South West and South Eastern friends.

So, who will bell the cat? This latest census, one can say, was the best digitally conducted ever. People and Housing census! Let us then, as Warner Wolf, US TV Sportcaster would say, let us go to the video tape!! If it is that good, it should be verifiable, and if it is verifiable with current results standing, what we at the NigerianNews will say to our brothers up North is; congratulations. After all, all this ballyhoo would not matter if we all sincerely behave as if we are brothers and one nation. Truthfully, we are not.

We at the NigerianNews as a matter of consistency do not believe in rotational presidency. Let us then determine who will henceforth become our President through the population figures, and oops; also land mass. According to our projection, the next delimitation of the Federal constituency will now give the North 189 members in the House of Representative, and if you add Abuja to it, that will give the North 193. The South will henceforth have 167. Why not add Abuja? The country that condones ethnicising what Murtala Muhammad carefully conceived as a place of ethnic neutrality is now styled as part of North Central. A place where the National Assembly of a multi-religious country is adorned only with the Islamic Crescent in effigy, and nobody ask about the other religions, deserves what comes to it. A country where a seating Governor who happened to be a former senator is still addressed as "Senator" not minding that he is no longer senator, cannot be considered as enlightened.

We do not see how the North, except for share generosity, need the rest of the country now. After all, the North worked very hard while the Orji Kalus of this world, just woke up to tell us he was the only one counted in his family!!

On a lighter note, for those men married to many women, we can now say you have overplayed your hands. Never again will single men find it easy to find a woman to marry in Nigeria, at least not in the immediate future. Many single men will have to move to another friendly country to look for wives, for we are country of more men, and fewer women.

So, let us celebrate with our compatriots up North for their political astuteness and sagacity. We can only ask that in their final victory not to make it a total "winner take all". Remember the Lazarus crumb!!! Who says people don't multiply and thrive in the arid places?

 



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